I’ve seen many heated exchanges on social media regarding the latest attempts to take away women’s right to autonomy over their own bodies. It’s understandable, and those of us with clear heads and working brains are enraged at the audacity and cruelty of this administration.

But here’s the thing you have to keep reminding yourself when you want to debate the people who are overjoyed that abortion is becoming outlawed; you’re not going to reach them.

No matter how much you argue or present them with facts and logic, you will not change their minds. Don’t waste your energy.

They are convinced that they are doing ‘God’s work.’ (I’m speaking of regular folk here not the politicians, who use ‘holy’ righteousness to disguise their greed)

The people who are rejoicing over this have their virtuous cloak wrapped tightly around them, and our persecution of them just adds to their feelings of superiority. They believe there is no greater role than to be a martyr for their beliefs, and us attacking them just puts another sacred notch in their belt.

They don’t see that their indifference to the health and respect of the woman, let alone a child once it’s born, (especially if that child is not white) flies in the face of their ‘every life is sacred’ banner.

They are oblivious to their own hypocrisy.

Their Christian beliefs tell them the man is the head of the house and it is a woman’s role to submit to him. When they allow men to make decisions for them, even when it comes to their own bodies, they believe they are being good Christians and God is smiling kindly on them. They believe patriarchy is how God intended the world to be.

I tell you this because I’ve been there. I used to eat, drink and sleep my religion.  I pitied those who weren’t as enlightened as me and prayed for them. Nobody could convince me that what I believed was simply good brainwashing. The reason I walked away years ago and started following my own spiritual path had nothing to do with anything anyone said to me. I had to come to my own conclusions after long and deep soul searching.

So…don’t waste your breath arguing. Don’t put more hatred and fighting in a world already fraught with too much of both.

Put your anger and energy into the things that matter. Find your tribe. Fight side by side with them against this insanity. Don’t let anyone scare you into silence. There’s too much at stake.

But when it comes to those ‘good’ Christians who want to debate you about this subject? Do yourself a favor and walk away. Don’t react. Remind yourself that an argument on facebook will not change the mind of someone blindly following centuries of misogynistic, patriarchal, religious beliefs.

Console yourself with the fact that 80% of Americans believe abortion should be legal. Don’t waste your breath on the brainwashed 20%. Save that energy for the actions we need to take to stop this assault on our rights.