Madonna recently appeared at Coachella with Sabrina Carpenter, and the vitriol and criticism online was swift and brutal.

Being a classic rock girl, I’ve never been a fan of her brand of music. However, I am a fan of women supporting each other as they do whatever the hell they want with their lives.

I started going to concerts as a teenager decades ago and it’s still one of my favorite things to do. Having a cocktail and the ‘warm smell of colitas’ while listening to my favorite band play live is absolute heaven for me. For those few hours I’m seventeen again, dancing and singing like life hasn’t had its way with me yet.

Most bands I see are decades from their heyday but still drawing crowds. The long-haired rock and rollers are now grandpas with respectable haircuts but still playing their hearts out and bringing joy to those in attendance.

However, it’s not only their looks that have changed. With few exceptions, most of them do a kind of talk-singing now, their voices no longer powered by youth.  They often sound a bit raspy and don’t always reach those notes that came so easy before time took its toll. Those in attendance couldn’t care less. We’re there to have a good time and listen to some of our favorite tunes and we never leave disappointed. The guys in these bands look and sound their age and nobody cares.

Certainly not the press. They never call them grandpas or say their time has passed. They may use some gentle language in their reporting regarding sound or appearance, but it’s never vicious. I don’t know if I’ve ever read any of them criticize what they’re wearing or say they’re too old to be performing.

That kind of reporting is reserved for female artists. Take note of how often the reporting on a female artist whose been around for awhile is reviewed not for her artistry, but for how her looks and voice have withstood the passing of time.

Mick jagger is eighty-two years old and the Rolling Stones are doing their final tour this year.  Alice Cooper is seventy-eight and touring in 2026. Bruce Springsteen is seventy-six and out on the road again. (Madonna is younger than all of them) I challenge you to find one article about any of them that mentions how old they look or sound or that these grandpas should hang it up. Instead, what you’ll read is respect and admiration for these icons of music, and the reverence that inspires.

The normalization of insulting and abusive language used on women in our media will only stop when we make the decision to stop contributing to it. When we stop buying the magazines and watching the shows that use criticism of women as entertainment.

Women make 80% of purchasing decisions in this world and the people in power got there and stay there because our money put them there. Every purchase we make, every website we support is either contributing to the continuation of our discrimination or taking a stand against the normalization of our abuse.

The next time you write a post or comment criticizing another woman’s looks or artistry, ask yourself what purpose you’re serving. Who programmed you to believe that criticizing other women is in any way appropriate behavior?

Then ask yourself if you’re ready to stop being part of the problem and now choose to be part of the solution.