Have you ever wondered why women have such a hard time simply saying thank you?
Compliment a woman on her hair, her clothes…anything about her and rarely will she simply smile and say ‘thank you.’
Usually she’ll tell you how much she hates her hair, or how cheap her outfit was or how old it is…whatever it is you’re complimenting her on, she will instantly come up with a reason why she is unworthy of your praise.
Try and pay for the lunch or dinner you’re both eating and see how long she’ll argue with you.
What is it about our training that has us rejecting kindness from others? Is the caretaking of others so ingrained in us that when others try and care for us we think it’s wrong?
Or have we so completely rejected ourselves and our own worth that anyone contradicting the daily negative messages that been running through our heads causes us distress?
I remember years ago a friend of mine left a message on my answering machine (google it kids!) praising me about some kindness I had done for her. She went on and on about what a wonderful person I was and…my stomach was in knots as I listened. I remember becoming aware that discomfort should not be the reaction when someone praises you.
But I have been observing us for years and I have to say, I am not alone.
Every day I see women rejecting praise and compliments; refusing help from others.
We aren’t born this way. Compliment a little girl and she’ll smile broadly and say ‘thank you.’ Sometimes she’ll even reply ‘I know!’
What is it about the messages we’ve been given, and continue to give ourselves that causes us to live these self-rejecting lives?