Aside from a c-u-next-tuesday, the one thing a female doesn’t want to be called is a whore. It’s a shameful label and can ruin your reputation.  In spite of how painful this can be, that word is flung around with quite a bit of regularity, isn’t it? What is it that propels people to throw this moniker of shame at a female?  The choices she makes regarding her own body. If she opts to share her body with whomever she chooses and we decide she does it too often and with too many, then she’s a whore. The unspoken rule is that women are not allowed to share their body with whomever they wish. Atleast not with too much frequency or indiscretion.

It’s true that times have changed and we won’t necessarily condemn a female for the simple act of having sex with a guy or two. As long as she keeps it in what her peers consider a respectable amount and is discreet about it.

Men have no such limitations. They are free to share their body with whomever they please with no recriminations. We call them ‘players’ or ‘studs’. These names are said with a smile or a slight laugh. Often times with admiration. They are certainly not names of shame.

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Let me lead

I was at a party last summer; great friends, great liquor, great band. I was dancing and singing along, as I am wont to do, and a man I didn’t know grabbed my hand and started dancing with me. I fell right in and after dancing and spinning with him for about 45 seconds, he said very sternly, “Let ME lead.”

For a brief second I felt chastised, as I have heard this from men I’m dancing with many times over the years. Apparently there are rules to dancing, and rule #1 is the man leads and the woman follows.

But here’s the thing; I love to dance, and I’m good at it. I took years of dance lessons as a girl. I don’t need someone to lead me into the next move.

We danced for another minute or so and he said again, “Let ME lead,” a little louder and sterner.

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