We are born with our name and die with our name, and whatever is done between those events we do in our name. Unless…

Unless you’re female. In most societies when a woman marries, she forsakes the surname she was born with and adopts the last name of her husband. She might do a hyphenated combo of both names, or keep her surname professionally, but legally that household falls under the name of the husband, including the children born of that union. We carry our children in our bodies, birth them with our bodies, feed them with our bodies and yet…their surname comes from the father. It is still commonplace to hear people say they hope for a male child to carry on the family name.

Most women will tell you it’s fine and it doesn’t bother them. It’s tradition. Many even look forward to changing their names with glee. But does giving up our name have an effect on how we see ourselves?

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Have you ever wondered why women have such a hard time simply saying thank you?

Compliment a woman on her hair, her clothes…anything about her and rarely will she simply smile and say ‘thank you.’

Usually she’ll tell you how much she hates her hair, or how cheap her outfit was or how old it is…whatever it is you’re complimenting her on, she will instantly come up with a reason why she is unworthy of your praise.

Try and pay for the lunch or dinner you’re both eating and see how long she’ll argue with you.

What is it about our training that has us rejecting kindness from others? Is the caretaking of others so ingrained in us that when others try and care for us we think it’s wrong?

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